Who Would You Be Now?
by charli911
Summary: Tony understands when memories overwhelm Gibbs. Inspired by the Kenny Chesney song "Who You'd Be Today". Dedicated to all those who died too young. One Shot.


_**WHO WOULD YOU BE NOW?**_

 _ **By Charli911**_

 _ **Dedicated to Autumn Rose Doran**_

/

Disclaimer:

I don't own NCIS or any of these characters. I make no money, this is strictly for fun and because I love the show and the characters so much. Thanks to the wonderful creators, writers, actors and crew who bring them to us week after week, year after year.

/

Tony DiNozzo hit the print button and stood up, walking to the printer under the stairs to grab the report he'd just completed. It had been a long week. The team had been assigned three cases and quickly closed all three. The most recent had been finished just that morning when they'd located a UA sailor at his mother's house, hungover and heartbroken after being dumped. They'd spent most of the day chasing down leads only to find the man curled up and crying on his mama's sofa.

Tony's boss, Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, had been a bear all week, grouchy and impatient. And while that wasn't unusual, he'd turned it up a notched this week, getting worse as each day passed. Tim McGee was trying to be as unobtrusive as possible. Ellie Bishop had received a head slap that morning. And their wayward sailor had received a lecture from Gibbs, the message in the end basically 'suck it up, sailor, and get back to work'.

Gibbs' disgust with the young man had been obvious, but Tony knew that wasn't the real problem. As he walked back to his desk with the report, he sorted through the pages, putting them in order before stapling them together. The younger man had been watching his boss, and as he arrived back at his desk, he noticed that Gibbs was just staring at his computer monitor. He hadn't typed more than a few words since they'd returned to the Navy yard.

Sighing, Tony walked over to Gibbs' desk and set the stapled papers next to his boss's coffee cup. It took a full minute for Gibbs to realize that DiNozzo was standing there.

"What?" he snarled.

"Sign this," Tony replied.

"What is it?"

"Your report," Dinozzo told him, calmly.

Gibbs frowned. "You think I can't write my own reports now, DiNozzo?"

Tony realized that McGee and Bishop had stopped typing and were watching the two men. DiNozzo leaned close and spoke quietly.

"It's a simple case of Unauthorized Absence, Boss. We got this. Go do what you gotta do."

Gibbs hand stopped midway to his coffee cup. He raised his eyes to meet Tony's, the pain obvious for the younger man to see. And the understanding obvious for Gibbs to see in Tony's eyes. The older man briefly closed his eyes, shaking his head. He pulled the papers toward him and scribbled his name where he needed to before handing the stack back to his Senior Field Agent. Gibbs watched DiNozzo just nod and head back to his desk, appreciating that he didn't say anything more.

Jethro blew out a breath and reached out a hand to turn off his computer and the lamp over his desk. Standing, he grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair and slipped it on. He picked up his coffee and headed toward the elevator. Halfway there he stopped and turned back. Tony looked up when Gibbs put a hand on his shoulder.

He leaned down. "You're a good man, DiNozzo."

"I try, Boss."

"You don't need to try. It comes natural. Thanks."

Tony just nodded and watched Gibbs leave, the former Marine opting to take the stairs rather than share the elevator with the other agents who had been waiting. Once the door closed, Tony turned his attention back to the report.

It took his teammates several minutes before either of them spoke and he wasn't surprised that it was Ellie Bishop.

"Tony, what's going on?" she asked. "Where did Gibbs go?"

"It's personal," he replied, his gaze still on his computer.

"Is he alright?" McGee asked.

"He's fine, Tim. He just has a lot on his mind right now."

"Tony…"

"Are you both finished with your reports," Tony asked, interrupting.

McGee and Bishop both took the hint and turned their focus back to the job.

Tony looked up briefly, seeing that they were letting it slide. A soft smile slid over his face. He was proud of them both. He knew Gibbs safeguarded his privacy and wouldn't want others to know what was going on, and McGee and Bishop showed their respect for their boss by not pushing for more information.

/

Gibbs got out of his truck, retrieving the flowers he'd picked up on his way and carefully walked across the manicured lawn toward the large tree that covered part of the grass in shade. Dropping to one knee, he placed the bouquets of flowers in front of the stones that stood side by side- red roses in one bouquet, the other a variety of different colored wildflowers.

As he placed the wildflowers on the ground, he reached up and ran his fingers across the name and the date of birth on that stone.

"Happy Birthday, sweetie." A single tear slowly fell, quickly followed by more. Settling in to sit more comfortably, he wiped a hand across his face. "I miss you both so much," he whispered softly, his voice heavy with a grief he still felt all these years after the deaths of his wife and daughter.

His beautiful Kelly would have turned twenty-five today. Any anniversary always brought him pain-birthdays, anniversaries, and milestone moments. He hadn't had enough of those with his daughter. There were so many things he'd never had the chance to experience with her.

Would she be married now? Would she be a mom? Made him a grandpa? What names would she give her children? Or would she still be college, with her sights set on a career she would love. Would her love of animals have decided her career? Or would she have found something else to interest her.

He had missed her becoming a teenager. Missed her first love...and her first heartbreak. He'd been looking forward to teaching her how to drive, although Shannon had remarked more than once that there was no way she'd let a guy who thought he was a Nascar driver teach 'her' child how to drive a car.

He often wondered how he'd feel when Kelly left home to find her way in the world, get her first apartment. Shannon used to tease him that he'd probably be the one in tears, not wanting Kelly to move out. He smiled. She was probably right about that. She usually was.

Mostly, he hated that he'd never had the chance to walk her down the aisle. To have that father-daughter dance at her wedding. To say goodbye to the child she was and say hello to the woman she'd become. He wondered if she would have married a guy like her old man or if she'd fall for someone that was the total opposite of her Marine Corps father.

Would his grandkids help him build his boats in the basement or spend their time sitting on their duffs playing video games like so many kids today?

He spent most of the afternoon talking to his girls, telling them about life and about the people he'd surrounded himself with. He spoke about some of their toughest cases and about the people he'd lost. He talked about Kate and Ziva. And Jenny. He regaled them with funny stories about his team. And the more he talked, the more he realized that the best stories, the ones that brought a smile or a laugh, almost always involved DiNozzo in some way.

And he realized that Tony had given him exactly what he had needed that morning. To get away from work and just spend time with his girls on Kelly's birthday. And as he sat there, he realized that while he had lost his girls, he still felt their love. As the breeze caressed his cheek, he could almost hear Shannon's voice.

"I think you've finally got it, Gunny!" she'd say, laughing, whenever it took him longer than it should have to understand something she was trying to explain.

Shannon understood him better than anyone he'd ever meant. They truly had been soul mates. Tony had once asked Gibbs' father if the 'rules' had come from Jackson. Gibbs smiled, wondering what DiNozzo would think, knowing that it had been Shannon who had inspired his rules. She'd had her own set that she lived by. And he knew that DiNozzo had made a set of his own during his short stint as team leader.

Feeling better, he said good bye to his girls, vowing to return more often. He headed to his car in a much better place than he'd been earlier in the day. He pulled the door closed and pulled out his phone. He sent a quick text before driving home.

/

Tony was just getting ready to leave when his phone rang, alerting him to an incoming text. He smiled as he read 'my house, 1800 hrs, bring beer'.

He slipped the phone back into his pocket without replying, know Gibbs wouldn't expect one. Glancing at his watch, he calculated that he'd have just enough time to go home, shower and change before heading the Casa Gibbs, stopping for the beer on the way.

As he walked into Gibbs' house, he smelled the steak cooking in the fireplace. "Ah, Cowboy steaks. It doesn't get any better than this, boss."

Jethro grinned as he watched Tony put most of the case of beer in the fridge, returned to the living room with two now opened bottles, handing one to Gibbs as he sat down on the sofa. If he noticed the extra items on the coffee table, he didn't mention them, instead sitting back and updating Gibbs about their last case.

"…so the Petty Officer, as he's walking the guy out, yelling at him for letting a girl he's only known for a month get him into so much trouble, he head slapped him. I thought I was gonna lose it when I saw that! I was tempted to ask the guy if he was related to you."

DiNozzo was glad to see the smile flittered across Gibbs' face. He knew it had been an emotional week for the older man and was glad to see that he'd been able to get some peace. They finished their steaks and Gibbs took the plates into the kitchen, gave them a quick wash and snagging two more bottles of beer.

He handed one to DiNozzo, than picked up one of the books from the coffee table. Taking a long swallow, he set the bottle down and turned to face Tony.

"I wanted to thank you again for today. It was just what I needed."

"You have a good talk?" Tony asked.

Gibbs nodded and smiled. "Yeah. I can't believe she would have been twenty-five today."

Tony didn't know what to say to that, so he just kept quiet, his thumb working at the paper around the top of his bottle.

Gibbs handed the book to DiNozzo, who put down his own bottle and wiped his hands on his jeans before accepting it. He glanced at Gibbs who gestured at him to open it.

As Tony turned the first page, he saw a photo of a teenage Gibbs with a beautiful red-headed teenage girl. Looking up, Gibbs smiled and moved closer so he could put his finger on the photo.

"I wanted to introduce you to my girls," he said. "This was taken on my first date with Shannon."

Tony just looked up, in awe at being given this privilege. He knew that Gibbs didn't talk about Shannon and Kelly, and he was honored to be given the chance to learn more about them. And grateful that Gibbs trusted him enough to know that Tony would hold their memories close.

THE END

 _This story was inspired by the Kenny Chesney song "Who You'd Be Today?" written by_ AIMEE MAYO and WILLIAM LUTHER. _If you haven't heard the song, check it out. It's beautiful, but sad._

 _I've often wondered, since Gibbs seems like the kind of guy who likes country music, what would his thoughts have been when he heard this song. I could imagine Gibbs hearing this song for the first time, alone in his basement and it taking him to his knees._

 _The song came out around the same time that my 18yr niece was killed in a car accident. She was coming home from a festival with some friends and decided to take a nap in the back seat, removing her seat belt to get more comfortable. The vehicle crashed and she was thrown from the car and killed. I think of her every time I hear this song. We miss you, Autumn Rose._

8


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